Pornography as junk sex

On my way home this evening I was listening to NPR's Talk of the Nation. (It is broadcast in the evening in LA.) The discussion had to do with talking to children about sex and how difficult it is to prevent children from coming across sexual references that parents may not want them to encounter. This reminded me of the War On Pornography (adult content) about which I blogged the other day. It also reminded me of my comment about Matthew Yglesias' discussion of Jack Ryan and sex clubs. I had agreed with one of the commenters who said that interest in other people's sex lives seems to be built into our genes.

It strikes me that pornography is an extreme example of that. The attraction of pornography (at least good pornography) is the promise of actually witnessing other people's sex lives. There is an excitement about seeing someone emotionally exposed, of watching while someone is overcome by the force of a basic drive. That's the promise of pornography -- and it's hard to deny how strongly attracted to it we all are.

So given that, what's a parent to do? I would say that parents should explain all this to their children. Tell them that because they are human they will have a curiosity about other people's sex lives. Tell them that most people have that curiosity. Tell them that the pornography industry exists because of that universal curiosity.

Once that basic groundwork is established, parents can then talk about how this curiosity is often exploited by the pornography industry -- with respect to both its customers and its workers. They can talk about having respect for people (all people) and how exploiting people is the opposite of showing respect.

But perhaps most importantly as far as helping their children feel comfortable with sexual matters, parents can help them understand that an interest in sex is normal and universal. They can help them understand that the fact that sex is used to exploit people doesn't mean that sex is bad. After all, food is used to exploit people too. That doesn't make eating bad.

Parents can help children understand that the pornography industry serves up junk sex in much the same way that the fast food industry serves up junk food.